dear subscriber,

i remember the first time i went snowboarding... it was so beautiful....

the sky was a dazzling bright blue and the air incredibly crisp. it was exciting. my blood was pumping and i was running so hot that i stripped down to my t-shirt. serious. whipping through the air like that, i still didn't get cold. i was in a class with this nasty ass instructor, so i wandered off and tried on my own. i fell a lot.

i also wore jeans.

so my hot ass would melt the snow underneath it, getting my jeans wet. when i got back up, the wind freezes it again. then i'd fall down again. lather, rinse, repeat.

i dunno why i tell you that. i still don't have snow pants.

yours,
kj

p.s. click here to read this post

dear subscriber,

i had a conversation with my boss this week.

	<preceding technical mumbo jumbo>
me:	i can't find the dtorg table on their database...
him:	cuz they don't have it. we have to do the data conversion locally. hmmm... might have to change the data model...
me:	which you were going to do anyway?
him:	why?
me:	cuz it's fucked...
him:	it is? who said that?
me:	you did. last week. like three times.

when i get my own underlings, i hope i find people like myself.

yours,
kj

p.s. click here to read this post

dear subscriber,

once i was called in to jury duty. woke up early at 8am (this was my heady college days, 8am was madd early) and got my ass down to the san mateo superior courthouse in redwood city. it was so bright and sunshiny.

there was this huge ass room they made us wait in. this lady started giving instructions out loud. "we will call your name..." blah blah sort of shit.

she finished it with "you can use this big tv here in front. there's two rules for using it...

1. keep the volume down.

2. no jerry springer."



that made me laugh.

yours,
kj

p.s. click here to unsubscribe

dear subscriber,

i've noticed that some people post to their xanga almost every weekday. it's like a way to stave off the boredom of their workday lives. then they party it up on the weekends and you don't hear from them until their hung over asses post "yo bitches, i'm still alive. i hate work." on a tuesday afternoon.

it's like they don't have any time on the weekends for something like xanga.

lately i've noticed that i don't have any time for xanga except ON the weekends. i get up, go to work, get home, cook dinner, try to hit the gym, and when all that's done i barely have time to even read my subs or say hi to everyone that comments on my xanga.

i just don't have time.

for this reason, i'm thinking of moving 'picture tuesdays' to sunday. but i'll still call it 'picture tuesday', cuz i'm stoopid like that.

yours,
kj

p.s. click here to read this post

dear subscriber,

hansen's is now selling an apple grape juice. it's pretty good. i think they should call it "grapple". but then i wonder if snapple would sue them for trademark infringement. maybe they would want to make a "grapple snapple" of their own. but then i wonder if snapple would get sued by milton bradley, cuz "grapple snapple" sure sounds like a board game. no, this letter doesn't have a point. click here to read this post. hey! that's two weeks in a row that i've managed to have pictures up for 'picture tuesday'.

yours,
kj

p.s. i managed to trick two of you into unsubscribing... and you both came back. awww... you love me. i love my readers, that's why you get this extra special hidden message. it's like two posts in one! mo' POST-age fo' yo money! hahaha.